Website owner:  James Miller

The favorite son

   He is middle aged, married, good looking, self-confident, 
   likable and gregarious.  He is also not to be trusted, highly 
   deceitful, deeply lacking in integrity and moral principle.  He 
   is a good talker, a good manipulator.  In blunt language he is 
   a worthless, good-for nothing.  He has always been a favorite 
   with women.  They love him.  He was the youngest of four 
   children and has always been his parent's favorite.  From birth 
   he was the apple of their eye.  He could do no wrong.  Unlike 
   with the other children, whatever he wanted he got.  Their 
   special feelings for him were always obvious to all.  The 
   parents appeared to be good, hardworking, decent, moral, 
   people.  They didn't drink, smoke or use bad language.  They 
   had other children who were good people (people much more 
   deserving than he).  Yet, through the years he remained the 
   favorite.  He liked to spend money and, unlike with the other 
   children, whenever he needed money the parents were always 
   there to help, lending for this and lending for that and never 
   getting repaid.  He and his wife liked to drink and party and 
   while they partied his parents took care of their six children.  
   And, in fact, his children pretty much lived with his parents.  
   And that was OK because his children were also his parents 
   favorite grandchildren.  They loved to take care of them.  The 
   grandchildren also could do no wrong.  And while all this was 
   going on, behind their back, he would boast about ways he 
   had deceived, manipulated and cheated his parents.

   I have seen the above.  In fact, I have seen it more than once.  
   I have seen it enough times to make me think I see a 
   pattern.  I suspect the phenomenon is age-old and world-wide. 
   It does raise questions.  I have often asked myself, "How can 
   good, decent, moral people maintain such a bias for such a 
   good-for-nothing in favor of other children who are worth a lot 
   more than he?  Why him?  How can they be so blind as not to see 
   his worthlessness?  What does that say about them?"  I have 
   never answered these questions.  However, I do observe 
   something.  However good and moral his parents may have been, 
   certainly they came up short on one point.  They were not just.  
   Justice requires treating all your children the same and not 
   favoring one above the others.  They wronged the other 
   children.  I can ask another question.  It seems to me that 
   people who were favorites as children often turn out in a 
   similar way.  They were the apples of their parents eye, they 
   got everything they wanted as children, and then they turned 
   out bad.  The question is: Did their parent's special treatment 
   of them play a big part in causing them to turn out bad?  Are 
   the parents at least partially at fault for the way they turned 
   out?  Did the parents spoil them rotten?  Did all the 
   favoritism ruin them?  When they did wrong, did the parents 
   correct them in the way they corrected their other children or 
   did they just ignore it?  Did they perhaps just refuse to see 
   it?  Did their bias toward their favorite encourage 
   manipulative behavior? 


   Dec 2009