Website owner: James Miller
Causes of emotional hurt, emotional disturbance or psychic damage: 1. Loss of a loved one. Examples: death of a spouse or child; loss of spouse through separation or divorce; child losing one or both parents due to death, separation or divorce. Humans develop emotional bonds with those that they live with and are most closely connected to. They may not realize these bonds exist but they do exist as is realized when they are severed for some reason. The bonds involve affection, trust and need. We need the affection and loyalty of those that we are emotionally tied to. Emotional bonds of a kind exist between all members of the human race, even between all living things. When we hurt another person in some way we feel that bond. When we kill an animal, take away the life of another living thing in this universe, we feel that bond. 2. Not living up to duties and responsibilities. Whether we like it or not we do acquire duties and responsibilities in life. When a person says he will do a thing and doesn't do it he is violating a duty. When a man or woman has a child and they don't take care of it they are violating a duty. The emotional consequence of not living up to duty: guilt, psychic damage. When we don't live up to duty and responsibility we wrong others. When we don't take care of that child that we brought into this world we wrong that child. When we wrong others we also wrong ourselves. 3. Rejection by others. We all have a need to be accepted by others. We all want to be liked and accepted. If that acceptance is withheld it hurts. Rejection hurts. Whether the rejection arises from our physical appearance, personal idiosyncrasies, opinions, or whatever, it hurts. Being judged inferior by others hurts. Ridicule hurts. Criticism hurts. Contempt hurts. Ostracism hurts. 4. Threats to our survival. Any threat to our survival is frightening. Anything that threatens our life is frightening. A disease threatening us with death is frightening. Anything that threatens our basic livelihood is frightening. We all need food, shelter and clothing, the basic essentials of life. Any threat to these is frightening. A threat to our job is frightening. Any mark placed on us that might make it difficult for us to make a living is frightening. 5. Non-acceptance of self. Non-acceptance of self or the rejection of ourself by ourself. This can be the cause of deep-seated problems. It is essential that we be able to accept ourselves as we are; that we accept those aspects of ourselves that we cannot change, that are innate, as they are. It is essential that we like ourselves, that we live in such a way that we are able to like ourselves. We have to live true to conscience, true to the higher nature within us. 6. Unjust acts against others. When we hurt others we hurt ourselves. All life is united by bonds of empathy and sympathy. When we do harm to others we feel it in our conscience. We are also harmed. 7. Holding feelings of anger, malice, hostility, bitterness, etc. toward others. Feelings of anger, malice, hostility, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, envy, etc. against other people act like a poison in our system and do us great harm. Such feelings warp our judgment, incline us to wrong attitudes and actions, and destroy healthy emotional balance. 8. Being a victim of injustice. Suffering injustice produces feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness. When we feel we have suffered an injustice it makes us angry. We feel wronged. It may be that we feel we have been wronged by an individual. Or it may be that we feel that we have been wronged by society as a whole. Or it might be that we feel that we have been wronged by God. Whichever, it makes us angry, bitter and resentful and those feelings are directed at whoever it is we feel has wronged us. And if we allow ourselves to fall prey to these feelings we do ourselves double damage. 9. Loss of a possession. If you lose something that belongs to you it makes you feel upset and unhappy. NOTE. In regard to 3. above (the need for acceptance by others) let us remark that the acceptance of ourselves by ourselves and the acceptance of ourselves by God is more important than the acceptance of ourselves by others and often there is a conflict. Often we cannot have both and must choose. Dec 1991 More from SolitaryRoad.com:
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