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Causes of emotional hurt, emotional disturbance, psychic damage



   Causes of emotional hurt, emotional disturbance or psychic 
      damage: 


   1. Loss of a loved one.  Examples: death of a spouse or child;  
      loss of spouse through separation or divorce; child losing 
      one or both parents due to death, separation or divorce.  
      Humans develop emotional bonds with those that they live 
      with and are most closely connected to.  They may not 
      realize these bonds exist but they do exist as is realized 
      when they are severed for some reason.  The bonds involve 
      affection, trust and need.  We need the affection and 
      loyalty of those that we are emotionally tied to.  Emotional 
      bonds of a kind exist between all members of the human race, 
      even between all living things.  When we hurt another person 
      in some way we feel that bond.  When we kill an animal, take 
      away the life of another living thing in this universe, we 
      feel that bond. 

   2. Not living up to duties and responsibilities.  Whether we 
      like it or not we do acquire duties and responsibilities in 
      life.  When a person says he will do a thing and doesn't do 
      it he is violating a duty.  When a man or woman has a child 
      and they don't take care of it they are violating a duty.  
      The emotional consequence of not living up to duty: guilt, 
      psychic damage.  When we don't live up to duty and 
      responsibility we wrong others.  When we don't take care of 
      that child that we brought into this world we wrong that 
      child.  When we wrong others we also wrong ourselves. 

   3. Rejection by others.  We all have a need to be accepted by 
      others.  We all want to be liked and accepted.  If that 
      acceptance is withheld it hurts.  Rejection hurts.  Whether 
      the rejection arises from our physical appearance, personal 
      idiosyncrasies, opinions, or whatever, it hurts.  Being 
      judged inferior by others hurts.  Ridicule hurts.  Criticism 
      hurts.  Contempt hurts.  Ostracism hurts. 

   4. Threats to our survival.  Any threat to our survival is 
      frightening.  Anything that threatens our life is 
      frightening.  A disease threatening us with death is 
      frightening.  Anything that threatens our basic livelihood 
      is frightening.  We all need food, shelter and clothing, the 
      basic essentials of life.  Any threat to these is 
      frightening.  A threat to our job is frightening.  Any mark 
      placed on us that might make it difficult for us to make a 
      living is frightening. 

   5. Non-acceptance of self.  Non-acceptance of self or the 
      rejection of ourself by ourself.  This can be the cause of 
      deep-seated problems.  It is essential that we be able to 
      accept ourselves as we are; that we accept those aspects of 
      ourselves that we cannot change, that are innate, as they 
      are.  It is essential that we like ourselves, that we live 
      in such a way that we are able to like ourselves.  We have 
      to live true to conscience, true to the higher nature within 
      us. 

   6. Unjust acts against others.  When we hurt others we hurt 
      ourselves.  All life is united by bonds of empathy and 
      sympathy.  When we do harm to others we feel it in 
      our conscience.  We are also harmed.   

   7. Holding feelings of anger, malice, hostility, bitterness, 
      etc. toward others.  Feelings of anger, malice, hostility, 
      bitterness, resentment, jealousy, envy, etc. against other 
      people act like a poison in our system and do us great harm.  
      Such feelings warp our judgment, incline us to wrong 
      attitudes and actions, and destroy healthy emotional 
      balance. 

   8. Being a victim of injustice.  Suffering injustice produces 
      feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness.  When we feel 
      we have suffered an injustice it makes us angry.  We feel 
      wronged.  It may be that we feel we have been wronged by an 
      individual.  Or it may be that we feel that we have been 
      wronged by society as a whole.  Or it might be that we feel 
      that we have been wronged by God.  Whichever, it makes us 
      angry, bitter and resentful and those feelings are directed 
      at whoever it is we feel has wronged us.  And if we allow 
      ourselves to fall prey to these feelings we do ourselves 
      double damage. 

   9. Loss of a possession.  If you lose something that belongs to 
      you it makes you feel upset and unhappy. 



   NOTE.  In regard to 3. above (the need for acceptance by 
   others) let us remark that the acceptance of ourselves by 
   ourselves and the acceptance of ourselves by God is more 
   important than the acceptance of ourselves by others and often 
   there is a conflict.  Often we cannot have both and must 
   choose. 


   Dec 1991





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