Website owner: James Miller
Lack of confidence, the inferiority complex. A great many
people suffer from them. What causes them? One interesting
observation I have made over the years is that the people with
all sorts of confidence in themselves are not always the most
intelligent. As I have gotten to know, over the years, various
people who seemed to abound in confidence I have come to
realize that they often lacked seriously in good judgment and
good sense, weren't especially knowledgeable, and that they
were sometimes very ignorant, foolish people. On the other
hand I have known people with PhD degrees in physics who were
severely crippled with lack of confidence and inferiority
feelings. A person with a PhD degree in Physics cannot be
stupid. Just too much of a high intellectual order is required
to understand the concepts encountered. So what causes these
complexes? I think of a few things:
1. Odd weaknesses and inabilities that a person may have
that he becomes increasingly sensitive about. He builds
them up in his mind; he makes them into much bigger things
than they really are; he worries about them far in excess of
what their importance merits.
2. Trying to do hard things; setting hard tasks for oneself;
having high standards for oneself; having high expectations
for oneself. The person who is abounding in self-confidence
is often just a person who has never expected anything of
himself, has never attempted to do anything really
difficult, and is as a consequence very happy and content
with himself. He does easy things, avoids hard things, sees
life superficially, and is very content with all that. The
person with the inferior feelings is often the person with
unreasonably high objectives and standards and expectations
for himself; who is always setting for himself very
difficult or impossible tasks; who ignores easy tasks and
focuses on the difficult; who is always digging beneath the
surface of things. This fellow, because of what he
habitually focuses on, is always experiencing frustration
and anxiety. And because of the impossibly high goals these
people set for themselves, the impossibly high standards and
expectations they have for themselves, they are never able
to just relax, enjoy themselves and be content. They are
never able to really like themselves. They never are able
to come up to their own expectations of themselves.
3. Focusing so intently on difficult tasks that one has
committed himself to that he loses sight of the forest for
the trees, that he loses that important mental and emotional
balance that tells us what is important is life and what
isn't; that sense of just how important one thing is
relative to other things (unimportant things take on a lot
of importance to you and important things are forgotten and
lost sight of). Because he gets so involved and wrapped up
in detail he loses sight of the whole and loses his
perspective and balance.
And then there is another phenomenon that may come into the
picture. The person suddenly realizes he has problems and
becomes scared. He becomes like a bird caught in a net. He
starts struggling frantically to get out and the more he
struggles the more ensnared he becomes. He becomes obsessed
with himself and his problems. All his time and energy becomes
taken up with trying to find his way out of the trap he has
found himself in. Fear and imagination take over his mind and
he starts imagining all kinds of horrid and tragic scenarios.
He sees himself fired from job after job; he sees himself
rejected, scorned, laughed at; he sees himself dragged off to
mental institutions. As fear and insecurity take over his mind
and become more and more obsessional his problems get worse and
worse.
Dec 1986
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