Website owner:  James Miller

On anger and its consequences

   I just received an email from a reader of my website.  He had a 
   disability that he told me about and he had several questions 
   that he wanted me to respond to.  He also had a blog he asked 
   me to read.  I read a bit from his blog.  It was filled with 
   great anger and hatred against society and "the establishment".  
   From his email I took it that he viewed me as part of the 
   establishment. 

   One of the questions he wanted me to respond to was:  Is there 
   ever a legitimate reason for blaming a person, or society, or 
   some segment of society, for things done to you?  I think my 
   answer to him could be of value to others.  My answer to 
   that question was:

   You are asking if there is ever a legitimate reason for blaming 
   a person, or society, or some segment of society, for some 
   wrong that you feel has been done to you. Of course there may 
   be legitimate reasons for blaming people or society for 
   something done to you. We all get wronged. We get wronged by 
   other people. We get wronged by society and its institutions. 
   People do other people bad. Social institutions like the school 
   system by its factory assembly line method of treating people, 
   by its inflexibility, do injustice to individuals who may be 
   different from the norm. It is part of life. You have to learn 
   how to deal with it. You might be interested in reading my 
   article

One of my pronounced personality traits 

   I know where you are coming from. I can tell you that there is 
   a lot more to this question than meets the eye. It is a lot 
   more complicated than you think. You may have an excellent 
   reason for blaming some individual or society for something. 
   Logic may be all on your side. You may be totally justified in 
   being angry. But things are trickier than you think. There is a 
   trap here that a great many people fall into. It is a big black 
   ugly pit, which once in, you may never get out of. You don't 
   believe me? Just believe me. I know. Most people wouldn't touch 
   a red hot stove. Why not? They wouldn't jump off a cliff. Why 
   not? Don't touch anger. Stop it at the first angry thought. You 
   can do it if you really want to. Don't touch hatred. Don't 
   touch jealousy. You just don't know the threat they hide. Anger 
   is a trap. Hatred is a trap. Don't get caught in them. They 
   will take control of your mind and won't let go. They will 
   destroy you. How do they destroy you? Through mental problems, 
   emotional problems. They disrupt the normal functioning of the 
   normal, well-balanced mind. They destroy judgment. And judgment 
   in life is everything. It is interesting that Jesus told us how 
   to handle wrongs done to us. "Love your enemy. Do good to those 
   who wrong you." People would save themselves a lot of personal 
   anguish if they would take his teachings seriously.

   Suppose society has done you some wrong. Let us say it hurt you 
   greatly, did some terrible wrong to you. Suppose you allow that 
   to pull you into anger and hatred for society. What will be the 
   effect of that anger and hatred? Will it hurt society in any 
   way? No. Society will just walk away and leave you soaking in 
   anger. People will stay away from you, avoid you. No one likes 
   to be around an angry person. So you become isolated and more 
   and more angry. It is a win-lose case. Society wins. You lose. 
   Suppose you take revenge and do something terrible against 
   society. You will go to jail and come out the loser. Suppose 
   some person did you a great wrong. Suppose you allow it to pull 
   you into great anger and hatred for him. Will that anger and 
   hatred hurt him in any way? He will just walk away from you and 
   leave you to stew in your anger. It is a win-lose case. He is 
   the winner and you are the loser. Suppose you take revenge. You 
   do something back to him. You will be sorry in the end. There 
   may be a temporary high and then a low. 


   Nov 2009