Website owner:  James Miller

A problem encountered by children



   One of the really big problems that children encounter, that 
   everyone encounters in the process of growing up, is that 
   natural phenomenon involving a new force that presents itself 
   within a person at the onset of puberty.  We are talking about 
   the powerful sexual force that manifests itself at the onset of 
   puberty around the age of 11 or 12 in the form of sexual 
   desire.  Associated with this force, all mixed up with it, is 
   the phenomenon of "finding someone physically attractive" and 
   "falling in love", "being in love", etc. --- they are very closely 
   connected phenomenon. I personally experienced my first romantic
   infatuation at age 7 and my first feeling of sexual desire around 
   age 12. I went through many infatuations in my youth and they 
   were all accompanied by the very frustrating problem of extreme 
   shyness around the object of the infatuation --- to the extent 
   that I was unable to talk to them (I would be all tied up 
   in knots).  In fact, people fall into love and out of 
   love quite easily.  "Falling in love" is really a kind of 
   temporary bewitchment, temporary enchantment, a temporary loss 
   of good sense.  And involved also in this same phenomenon is 
   everyone's need for a companion of the opposite sex.  A deep-
   seated need.  This whole phenomenon is nature's way of 
   perpetuating the species.  It is a phenomenon that occurs in 
   all species.  Behind it is the possibly partially obscured or 
   submerged wish to couple, procreate.  Sexual desire can be like 
   an itch that torments.  It is a new force within that dogs and 
   afflicts one, provoked and stimulated by imagination and 
   fantasy.  It can be a desire that cries out for satisfaction, 
   an itch that demands appeasement.   This entire phenomenon we 
   are talking about presents a lot of problems and difficulties 
   for a person.  It is a brand new experience for a child and he 
   may not know quite how to handle it.  Parents often don't want 
   to talk about it, don't quite know how to talk about it, and 
   the child learns about it from the effects it produces on 
   himself.  The beginning of puberty is the end of innocence.  
   For along with this new force comes a realization that this 
   force within must be managed and controlled, since if is not 
   controlled, one would have a society of rampant promiscuity, 
   fornication and adultery; indeed a society of rampant rape, 
   child molestation and all kinds of ugly things.  A usual way of 
   dealing with it is the appeasement of its incessant demands 
   through masturbation.  The force brings frustration.  For 
   thwarted desire produces frustration.  And one knows the force 
   must be managed.  The constantly recurring desire for sexual 
   intercourse coupled with the knowledge that sexual intercourse 
   produces babies and that you are not in any way ready in life 
   to have the responsibility of a baby produces inner conflict.  
   You are faced with the desire for something you want badly but 
   something that you know you must not allow, something your mind 
   tells you would be very bad for you, that would ruin your 
   future, your life.  You are faced with a temptation to do 
   something that could be like a poison pill that could destroy 
   you.  What a dilemma!  That is life.  An introduction to the 
   real world.  In addition, you know God has stated that 
   fornication and adultery are sins, that fornicators and 
   adulterers will be punished by eternal hell.  Thus this new 
   force brings a need for self-discipline.  It creates a need for 
   restraint where restraint is difficult.  Since it will be a 
   number of years yet before you will be in a position to marry 
   and have children you are faced with the problem of dealing 
   with this force by denying, thwarting and managing it for a 
   number of years.  Thus much perseverance and patience is 
   required.  It is a difficult task.  All of this represents a 
   continuing, day to day problem of adolescent youth.  It is 
   youth's first real encounter with temptation and the real need 
   to resist it.  Many in our age do not resist it.  They 
   foolishly follow their sexual inclinations, and end up having 
   babies or getting abortions.  Or they take birth control pills.  
   They become promiscuous, having sex with multiple partners.  
   They follow the happy, easy way and others such as parents or 
   government take on the responsibilities that ought to be 
   theirs, the responsibilities of rearing and supporting the 
   illegitimate children that they beget and are not in a position 
   to rear.  By taking the easy road, indulging their base 
   appetites and desires at a young age, they mess up their own 
   lives and place an unfair burden on others.  They wrong others, 
   including their illegitimate children who are deserving of a 
   legitimate mother and father and a proper upbringing.  And in 
   following the easy road of self-indulgence they build up habits 
   of sexual promiscuity that they will probably carry with them 
   the rest of their lives, even if they should eventually get 
   married.

   Considering the problem that adolescent youth faces in dealing 
   with this problem, reason and sense would call for societal 
   customs and practices that would assist teenagers in dealing 
   with the problem.  If a person is overweight and is trying to 
   lose weight one does not place a chocolate cake under his nose.  
   If one is seriously attempting to avoid temptation one does not 
   put himself into situations producing temptation.  A sensible 
   society could help a teenager in dealing with this problem.  
   Common sense would require social conventions and practices 
   that do not allow teenage youth of opposing sex to be alone 
   together.  Common sense would require strict chaperoning of 
   youth.  In a moral society parents and the adult world would 
   insist on chaperoning of youth.  A moral society would not give 
   youth automobiles and the freedom that our society gives them.  
   Our laxness in dealing with our youth reveals our lack of 
   morals and unconcern for our youth.  A sensible and moral 
   society would not allow on public mass media programs that 
   glamorize illegitimate sex.  Teenagers do what they think 
   everyone else is doing.  If everyone else is taking the easy, 
   fun, self-indulgent road they will take it too.  If it is 
   glamorized on TV and in the movies and everyone appears to be 
   doing it they will do it too.  It may be the foolish road but 
   fools follow fools.  They live by the "feeling" philosophy.  
   Let your feelings be your guide (as opposed to your mind).  Do 
   what you want to do, what you feel like doing.  Live life.  
   Enjoy it.  Don't let sense, reason or concern for others get in 
   your way. 

   There are many who condone illicit sex.  They contend that 
   asking people to restrain and abstain is simply asking too much 
   of a person.  The incidence of illicit sex and illegitimate 
   births among teenagers in this country is very high (over 50% 
   for illicit sex).  However, I observe that the incidence of 
   illicit sex among teenagers in some cultures is extremely low 
   (perhaps 1 or 2 percent).  I am thinking of the Japanese.  I 
   think this fact is very interesting.  It suggests that it is 
   all in the social attitudes and values of a particular society, 
   all in the "want to".  People can do what they want to do.  It 
   is all about morality or lack of it.  It is true that the 
   Christian cultures seem just unable to restrain themselves in 
   regard to illicit sex.  I don't fault the Christian religion 
   itself.  The Bible is very clear on the topic, the New 
   Testament is very clear.  The problem lies in the pervasive 
   perversion and corruption of Christianity.  Man never seems 
   able to stay on a straight line.  He always deviates off. 


   June 2008




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