Website owner: James Miller
One of the really big problems that children encounter, that everyone encounters in the process of growing up, is that natural phenomenon involving a new force that presents itself within a person at the onset of puberty. We are talking about the powerful sexual force that manifests itself at the onset of puberty around the age of 11 or 12 in the form of sexual desire. Associated with this force, all mixed up with it, is the phenomenon of "finding someone physically attractive" and "falling in love", "being in love", etc. --- they are very closely connected phenomenon. I personally experienced my first romantic infatuation at age 7 and my first feeling of sexual desire around age 12. I went through many infatuations in my youth and they were all accompanied by the very frustrating problem of extreme shyness around the object of the infatuation --- to the extent that I was unable to talk to them (I would be all tied up in knots). In fact, people fall into love and out of love quite easily. "Falling in love" is really a kind of temporary bewitchment, temporary enchantment, a temporary loss of good sense. And involved also in this same phenomenon is everyone's need for a companion of the opposite sex. A deep- seated need. This whole phenomenon is nature's way of perpetuating the species. It is a phenomenon that occurs in all species. Behind it is the possibly partially obscured or submerged wish to couple, procreate. Sexual desire can be like an itch that torments. It is a new force within that dogs and afflicts one, provoked and stimulated by imagination and fantasy. It can be a desire that cries out for satisfaction, an itch that demands appeasement. This entire phenomenon we are talking about presents a lot of problems and difficulties for a person. It is a brand new experience for a child and he may not know quite how to handle it. Parents often don't want to talk about it, don't quite know how to talk about it, and the child learns about it from the effects it produces on himself. The beginning of puberty is the end of innocence. For along with this new force comes a realization that this force within must be managed and controlled, since if is not controlled, one would have a society of rampant promiscuity, fornication and adultery; indeed a society of rampant rape, child molestation and all kinds of ugly things. A usual way of dealing with it is the appeasement of its incessant demands through masturbation. The force brings frustration. For thwarted desire produces frustration. And one knows the force must be managed. The constantly recurring desire for sexual intercourse coupled with the knowledge that sexual intercourse produces babies and that you are not in any way ready in life to have the responsibility of a baby produces inner conflict. You are faced with the desire for something you want badly but something that you know you must not allow, something your mind tells you would be very bad for you, that would ruin your future, your life. You are faced with a temptation to do something that could be like a poison pill that could destroy you. What a dilemma! That is life. An introduction to the real world. In addition, you know God has stated that fornication and adultery are sins, that fornicators and adulterers will be punished by eternal hell. Thus this new force brings a need for self-discipline. It creates a need for restraint where restraint is difficult. Since it will be a number of years yet before you will be in a position to marry and have children you are faced with the problem of dealing with this force by denying, thwarting and managing it for a number of years. Thus much perseverance and patience is required. It is a difficult task. All of this represents a continuing, day to day problem of adolescent youth. It is youth's first real encounter with temptation and the real need to resist it. Many in our age do not resist it. They foolishly follow their sexual inclinations, and end up having babies or getting abortions. Or they take birth control pills. They become promiscuous, having sex with multiple partners. They follow the happy, easy way and others such as parents or government take on the responsibilities that ought to be theirs, the responsibilities of rearing and supporting the illegitimate children that they beget and are not in a position to rear. By taking the easy road, indulging their base appetites and desires at a young age, they mess up their own lives and place an unfair burden on others. They wrong others, including their illegitimate children who are deserving of a legitimate mother and father and a proper upbringing. And in following the easy road of self-indulgence they build up habits of sexual promiscuity that they will probably carry with them the rest of their lives, even if they should eventually get married. Considering the problem that adolescent youth faces in dealing with this problem, reason and sense would call for societal customs and practices that would assist teenagers in dealing with the problem. If a person is overweight and is trying to lose weight one does not place a chocolate cake under his nose. If one is seriously attempting to avoid temptation one does not put himself into situations producing temptation. A sensible society could help a teenager in dealing with this problem. Common sense would require social conventions and practices that do not allow teenage youth of opposing sex to be alone together. Common sense would require strict chaperoning of youth. In a moral society parents and the adult world would insist on chaperoning of youth. A moral society would not give youth automobiles and the freedom that our society gives them. Our laxness in dealing with our youth reveals our lack of morals and unconcern about our youth. A sensible and moral society would not allow on public mass media programs that glamorize illegitimate sex. Teenagers do what they think everyone else is doing. If everyone else is taking the easy, fun, self-indulgent road they will take it too. If it is glamorized on TV and in the movies and everyone appears to be doing it they will do it too. It may be the foolish road but fools follow fools. They live by the "feeling" philosophy. Let your feelings be your guide (as opposed to your mind). Do what you want to do, what you feel like doing. Live life. Enjoy it. Don't let sense, reason or concern for others get in your way. There are many who condone illicit sex. They contend that asking people to restrain and abstain is simply asking too much of a person. The incidence of illicit sex and illegitimate births among teenagers in this country is very high (over 50% for illicit sex). However, I observe that the incidence of illicit sex among teenagers in some cultures is extremely low (perhaps 1 or 2 percent). I am thinking of the Japanese. I think this fact is very interesting. It suggests that it is all in the social attitudes and values of a particular society, all in the "want to". People can do what they want to do. It is all about morality or lack of it. It is true that the Christian cultures seem just unable to restrain themselves in regard to illicit sex. I don't fault the Christian religion itself. The Bible is very clear on the topic, the New Testament is very clear. The problem lies in the pervasive perversion and corruption of Christianity. Man never seems able to stay on a straight line. He always deviates off. June 2008 More from SolitaryRoad.com:
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