Website owner:  James Miller

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What causes arguments?

   Q. What kinds of things cause arguments?

   A.  Words, remarks or actions that cause anger.  The words or 
   action causes anger, then comes an angry response, then there 
   is an argument. (You hit me, then I hit you back, then there is 
   a fight.)  Often pride and ego is involved.  Anger is often 
   caused by a word or action that hurts another, that steps on 
   the ego of another. 

   So what kinds of things cause anger?  Let us name some things: 

     - words that a person interprets as putting him down or 
        showing disrespect for him 
     - criticism of some kind or another (justified or not)
     - disagreeing with someone on some subject on which he has 
        strong feelings (such as politics or religion) 
     - unjust treatment (or a perception of it)
     - some action of which you strongly disapprove (example: your 
        spouse squandering money while you are trying to save it) 

   Sometimes there is some underlying condition that causes the 
   anger-producing words, remarks or actions.  For example: 
   dislike, hatred, general disapproval, non-acceptance.  A 
   general dislike or disapproval of one person for another may 
   cause him to say or do things that hurt the other.  Or the 
   impatience of one person for some weakness or character flaw in 
   another may be a cause of critical remarks. 

  Aug 1994

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