Website owner:  James Miller

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Illusions and realities

   Illusion.  The romantic notion of a good marriage with an honest, 
      good, intelligent, decent, responsible, amiable, etc. partner.

   Reality.  There is certain to be at least a few flies in the 
      ointment.  Your partner will have a few faults.  The fault may 
      be laziness.  Maybe be it will be bad humor.  Or lack of sense.  
      Or perhaps it will be an inclination towards infidelity and 
      chasing the opposite sex.  The faults may be of a type very 
      hard to endure or they may be easier to endure but they will be 
      there making for a reality that is less than romantic. 

   Illusion.  The notion of working out your life in a job that is 
      satisfying and fulfilling, a job you enjoy.

   Reality.  The reality is likely to find you working through your 
      life in a job that is dull, unsatisfying, unfulfilling;  a job 
      you may even detest a great deal of the time.  The reality in 
      connection with your job is likely to be on the ugly side: you 
      hold on from day to day in a job you hate because you know that 
      a job change can easily mean jumping from the frying pan into 
      the fire.  With yourself and a family to support an ugly job 
      situation is better than homelessness and starvation. 

   Illusions of life.  Sunny meadows with flowers wafting in the 
      breeze; adventures in far away places with quaint ways and 
      customs; romantic escapades with dreamy, idealized members of 
      the opposite sex.  All the necessities and luxuries of life 
      provided for you by some unseen hand.  No thoughts, worries or 
      concerns about the mundane details of life. 

   Realities of life.  Ugly tenements in the drab streets of dreary 
      cities; the drab grind of your everyday life; a wife who is out 
      fooling with other men; children who are going their own 
      stubborn, wayward ways; a job you detest but are afraid to 
      leave; emotional or mental problems that you are unable to 
      free yourself from; ugly situations in which you find yourself 

   Apr 1994

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