Website owner:  James Miller

[ Home ] [ Up ] [ Info ] [ Mail ]

Sexual attraction; the conflicting needs within man

   Two basic needs of man are sources of much of his inner 
   conflict and emotional struggle: 

     1. The need for a faithful mate he knows he can trust, 
         someone who genuinely cares for him, a friend whose 
         constancy he knows he can rely on. 

     2. The underlying need, the hidden desire, for a romantic 
         affair with someone other than his mate; the deep wish 
         for a passionate extramarital affair; the force of sexual 
         attraction within us. 

   In other words man wants a mate who is completely faithful and 
   loyal to him on the one hand, yet at the same time, he himself 
   would like to be free to engage in a series of romantic affairs 
   with others of the opposite sex.  He would like to have sexual 
   freedom for himself but not for his mate.  He wants the freedom 
   to wander and roam for himself but cannot accept the idea of 
   allowing his mate that same freedom.  He realizes the 
   unreasonableness of this position and knows that if he expects 
   constancy of his mate then he, too, should be constant and 
   faithful.  So his intellect and reason tell him what is right, 
   how he ought to behave, but he has this need within him, this 
   force, always pulling him towards the direction of Wrong. 

   It is one of the paradoxes of life, a great perversity of 
   nature, that we have within all of us --- these two great 
   conflicting needs. 

   In a way, man is like the promiscuous male dog that couples 
   with every female that he encounters.  Yet, at the same time, 
   he is a being with the emotional need for the constant 
   affection and love of a lifelong mate.  So that sexual force 
   within us, that force that can so powerfully attract us to 
   certain members of the opposite sex, is like a seed of our own 
   destruction within us.  For we all know that it can destroy 
   marriages, break up families, do great harm to our children, 
   and destroy our personal happiness. 

   So many of us live with a double standard --- one standard for 
   ourselves and the other standard for others.  If we ourselves 
   succumb to a romantic temptation it is a small thing, a 
   peccadillo, a little error we have committed; yet if our mate 
   does it it is an outrageous, inexcusable, unforgivable act; a 
   cause for divorce. 

   Nov 1990

More from

The Way of Truth and Life

God's message to the world

Jesus Christ and His Teachings

Words of Wisdom

Way of enlightenment, wisdom, and understanding

Way of true Christianity

America, a corrupt, depraved, shameless country

On integrity and the lack of it

The test of a person's Christianity is what he is

Who will go to heaven?

The superior person

On faith and works

Ninety five percent of the problems that most people have come from personal foolishness

Liberalism, socialism and the modern welfare state

The desire to harm, a motivation for conduct

The teaching is:

On modern intellectualism

On Homosexuality

On Self-sufficient Country Living, Homesteading

Principles for Living Life

Topically Arranged Proverbs, Precepts, Quotations. Common Sayings. Poor Richard's Almanac.

America has lost her way

The really big sins

Theory on the Formation of Character

Moral Perversion

You are what you eat

People are like radio tuners --- they pick out and listen to one wavelength and ignore the rest

Cause of Character Traits --- According to Aristotle

These things go together


We are what we eat --- living under the discipline of a diet

Avoiding problems and trouble in life

Role of habit in formation of character

The True Christian

What is true Christianity?

Personal attributes of the true Christian

What determines a person's character?

Love of God and love of virtue are closely united

Walking a solitary road

Intellectual disparities among people and the power in good habits

Tools of Satan. Tactics and Tricks used by the Devil.

On responding to wrongs

Real Christian Faith

The Natural Way -- The Unnatural Way

Wisdom, Reason and Virtue are closely related

Knowledge is one thing, wisdom is another

My views on Christianity in America

The most important thing in life is understanding

Sizing up people

We are all examples --- for good or for bad

Television --- spiritual poison

The Prime Mover that decides "What We Are"

Where do our outlooks, attitudes and values come from?

Sin is serious business. The punishment for it is real. Hell is real.

Self-imposed discipline and regimentation

Achieving happiness in life --- a matter of the right strategies


Self-control, self-restraint, self-discipline basic to so much in life

We are our habits

What creates moral character?

[ Home ] [ Up ] [ Info ] [ Mail ]