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Cause of touchiness and explosiveness



   For many years I was very touchy about certain subjects.  Just 
   being reminded of such a subject, having the subject brought to 
   my mind, was enough to get me all upset, "set me off", bring up 
   all kinds of violent feelings of hurt, anger and hatred.  It 
   all made for a very volatile, unstable disposition.  Now my 
   disposition is exceptionally calm, even and tranquil.  What 
   causes this kind of touchiness? 


   A. I believe the cause is a mental process that I will call the 
     ALPHA process.  Once the ALPHA process has occurred with 
     regard to a particular subject the mind has been sensitized 
     to that subject and whenever that subject is brought to one's 
     mind one's feelings erupt into anger, violence and hatred.  
     What is the ALPHA process?  It is an angry train of thoughts 
     in regard to a subject.  It is a train of angry, bitter 
     thoughts and reflections on a particular subject that is 
     self-perpetuating; the sort that the more you think about the 
     subject the more upset you get, the angrier you get, the more 
     filled with hatred and bitterness you become.  This train of 
     thoughts can perpetuate itself for minutes, hours, days or 
     even months.  It can take control of you and become a 
     fixation. 

   Q. What kinds of subjects can cause such touchiness?

   A. Subjects that have profound meanings and implications for 
     you, that affect you in a very vital way, that threaten to 
     destroy or ruin you in some way, unjustly and unfairly. (An 
     example is my former touchiness over the IQ concept.)  When 
     such a subject is mentioned the pent up hatred and anger 
     explodes.  They are subjects on which pent up anger and 
     hatred has been built up through an ALPHA process. 


     June 1990



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