Website owner:  James Miller

[ Home ] [ Up ] [ Info ] [ Mail ]

             A momentous occurrence in my life


   Sometime in the period between 1974 and 1977 a very momentous thing

   happened to me. Probably the most important event of my entire life. And

   I never documented it. I don't even know exactly when it happened. Yet

   when it happened I knew immediately it's significance and knew that I

   should document it immediately. But I didn't know just how to set it down

   into words at the time and perhaps was lazy, too, and wasn't feeling

   inclined to the mental effort required and postponed it. And I kept

   postponing it until exactly what had happened slipped from my mind. And I

   have been angry at myself ever since for letting that happen. For as many

   things as I have documented, and all the writing I have done, here I let

   what was probably the most important incident of my life go undocumented.

   What event was this that I am talking about? For years I had been

   struggling in a trap, a snare, a maze, of deep emotional and mental

   problems and had been looking for the door out. I had looked and looked

   for it and was at my wits end. I despaired of ever finding it. This

   important event was that I found it --- and then walked out. You can

   imagine how happy I was. When I found the door I knew I had found it.

   When I walked out I was sure I was free. I had been struggling with

   these mental problems since my early teenage years, since my high school

   days, struggled with them for perhaps twenty five years. Now I had

   finally found the door out. Yet it also must be said that it seemed just

   too good to be true at the time, after all the years of struggling and

   search, and there was in my mind the thought that I should wait a little

   while before saying too much about it, just to be sure. It was hard to

   believe that all my problems could evaporate just like that, as

   entrenched as they were, and as long as I had had them. But time proved

   that that initial certainty within me that they were gone forever was

   right and that I was indeed free. I have never had a trace of them

   since. How amazing!

   Now I try to give some approximation to what happened, as far as my fuzzy

   memory allows me. What happened was a sort of mental "flip" or switch in

   attitude in relation to something. It was something as elusive and

   subtle as attitudes are elusive and subtle. It was a conscious decision

   to do something, that came out of some thinking I had been doing. A

   conscious decision to change my attitude about something. And as soon as

   I had made that decision I knew within myself that I had just stepped

   through that door that I had been looking for years. I had finally found

   it. I was now out in the open sunlight and free. I knew that everything

   was going to be OK for me, that my problems were over. I think it was an

   action that I had resisted making previously; I hadn't been

   psychologically ready to make it, but now I felt ready to make it and I

   wanted to make it. And once I got to that point I knew that this was

   that key I had been looking for for so long. So what was the attitude

   change? It was a decision, first, to be happy with the accomplishments I

   had made in life to date, to stop pushing for higher goals, to be content

   and satisfied with myself just as I was at that moment, to take a future

   policy of just relaxing and enjoying life as it comes; and secondly, and

   most importantly, to change my attitude toward people, to stop being

   defensive and hostile toward them, to open up to them, to stop being

   antisocial in my feelings and attitudes. And it was this fundamental

   change in attitude toward people that seemed to be the key. Immediately

   a great weight was lifted from my shoulders. I knew it was a momentous

   event for me, a watershed event. It was a basic change in direction for

   me. And immediately I enthusiastically started thinking about all the

   things I was going to do to implement the decision. I started thinking

   how I was going to start locating and rooting out all my feelings of

   anger and hostility toward people (whether justified or not) and to

   pursue the goal of being a warm, friendly person. My decision was to

   stop being antisocial, to stop holding people off at a distance, and to

   like them. To like them, indeed, in spite of all reasons one might

   produce for disliking them; to like them irregardless of themselves.

   Thus I was suddenly propelled by a wish to be a warm, friendly person.

   And immediately the old spirit of anger, hostility and antisociability

   was gone and I had within me a new spirit of warmth, friendliness and

   liking for people. And from then on all my problems just started melting


   It is important to note that this decision had behind it the force of a

   certain realization: the realization was that anger, hatred and hostility

   are inherently delf-destructive in the end, that they hurt you more than

   they hurt anyone else. Thus the decision was strengthened by the fact

   that I knew it was in my own best interest to like people and to get rid

   of my hostility and anger. But one can know that something is in his own

   best interest and still stubbornly, defiantly refuse to do it. But I had

   come to the point where I felt I wanted to do it. And that wanting to was

   the key. And it wasn't until I had suddenly wanted to and done it that I

   realized how very important the key was I had just unwittingly turned.

  Jan 1987

More from

The Way of Truth and Life

God's message to the world

Jesus Christ and His Teachings

Words of Wisdom

Way of enlightenment, wisdom, and understanding

Way of true Christianity

America, a corrupt, depraved, shameless country

On integrity and the lack of it

The test of a person's Christianity is what he is

Who will go to heaven?

The superior person

On faith and works

Ninety five percent of the problems that most people have come from personal foolishness

Liberalism, socialism and the modern welfare state

The desire to harm, a motivation for conduct

The teaching is:

On modern intellectualism

On Homosexuality

On Self-sufficient Country Living, Homesteading

Principles for Living Life

Topically Arranged Proverbs, Precepts, Quotations. Common Sayings. Poor Richard's Almanac.

America has lost her way

The really big sins

Theory on the Formation of Character

Moral Perversion

You are what you eat

People are like radio tuners --- they pick out and listen to one wavelength and ignore the rest

Cause of Character Traits --- According to Aristotle

These things go together


We are what we eat --- living under the discipline of a diet

Avoiding problems and trouble in life

Role of habit in formation of character

The True Christian

What is true Christianity?

Personal attributes of the true Christian

What determines a person's character?

Love of God and love of virtue are closely united

Walking a solitary road

Intellectual disparities among people and the power in good habits

Tools of Satan. Tactics and Tricks used by the Devil.

On responding to wrongs

Real Christian Faith

The Natural Way -- The Unnatural Way

Wisdom, Reason and Virtue are closely related

Knowledge is one thing, wisdom is another

My views on Christianity in America

The most important thing in life is understanding

Sizing up people

We are all examples --- for good or for bad

Television --- spiritual poison

The Prime Mover that decides "What We Are"

Where do our outlooks, attitudes and values come from?

Sin is serious business. The punishment for it is real. Hell is real.

Self-imposed discipline and regimentation

Achieving happiness in life --- a matter of the right strategies


Self-control, self-restraint, self-discipline basic to so much in life

We are our habits

What creates moral character?

[ Home ] [ Up ] [ Info ] [ Mail ]