Website owner: James Miller
People can live in very different worlds. The way their minds work can be very different. The way they see the world can be very different. I know. I know because the way my mind once worked (when I was a young boy) was very different from the way it works now. As a boy I was a dreamer. My mind was chock- full of vague, nebulous notions and ideas. It was filled with romantic, dreamy images of fun-filled evenings in mysterious far-away places; of lovely adventures, soft music and beautiful girls --- adventures in a world where there were no problems, no troubles, and no mundane concerns (i.e. no concerns about such practical things as the cost of things, having enough money, etc.). These mundane practicalities would have ruined the whole thing. I was very enjoyably lost in a beautiful world, an ideal world. My brain was filled with impressions. It picked up impressions from everywhere --- from movies, books and photos. It was a mind that lived on imagery, fantasy, musical melody and impressions. The world I imagined myself in was an idealistic world where all was good, where everyone was honest and told the truth, where everything worked out right. It was a world of beauty. I was a lover of beauty. I was far removed from dreary, mundane, drab Reality. Reality didn't interest me. I knew there was no happiness or fun to be found in Reality. I didn't want to see Reality. I didn't want to admit its existence. I was afraid of it; it was just too ugly and depressing. For the sake of my own morale and spirit I didn't want to look at it. All this is the way my mind once worked. The way it works now is the complete opposite. I swear all my brain has in it now is cold facts and figures. I am so close to cold Reality that I don't even know how to imagine anymore. My mind as it is now allows no impressions or imagery or fantasy. I couldn't imagine or fantasize if I wanted to. What is it that keeps me from it? Knowledge. Experience. Facts. I know I would be wasting my time and my mind won't allow the indulgence. Moreover, perhaps it is a little afraid to allow it. It perceives a danger there. My mind is now as prosaic, practical and unimaginative as a mind can get. Why? It knows there is power there. The power of reason, knowledge, experience and truth. It knows that there is real danger when you get away from these. But yet it must be admitted that the world I once lived in was a rosy, beautiful one and the world I live in now is a dreary, drab colorless one. Perhaps dreaming and fantasizing can be likened to drinking alcohol and taking drugs. It removes you from Reality but Reality is sure to come back and hit you in the face even harder for having removed yourself from it. Mar 1983 More from SolitaryRoad.com:
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