Website owner: James Miller
Q. For what reasons may a person be unhappy with himself? A. I can think of the following reasons: 1. He may not be satisfied with "what he is" in a moral sense. He may not be living true to his moral standards, his knowledge of Right. He may not be the kind of person that, way down deep inside himself, he admires and respects. Thus he does not respect himself. I think when this is true it is all on a level so close to the subconscious that the person is hardly aware of it if he is aware of it at all. (He only comes to truly appreciate that this was his problem when he decides to start living up to the highest moral principles, to start going the right way and doing the right things no matter what people may think or say. Once he starts taking the "high road" of moral principle he starts becoming infused with a great, new feeling of self-esteem, happiness, confidence and pride in himself and realizes that this was his problem). 2. He is unhappy with himself in a physical sense. He is dissatisfied with his body, his physical appearance, or he is dissatisfied with the abilities God has given him (physical abilities, mental abilities, whatever). 3. He may feel as though he were a failure in life. He may have been defeated many times or never have achieved that thing that the world views as success. He may feel inept for one reason or another. (The wrong values and outlooks of critical parents might have something to do with this.) 4. He may feel unhappy with himself for his own weakness (i.e. lack of resolve, willpower or inner strength) in connection with overcoming some habit or dependence he may have (such as a dependence on alcohol or drugs). Q. What is the solution, the remedy, for a person who is unhappy and dissatisfied with himself? A. I think that if a person is unhappy with himself one can say categorically that he has spiritual problems. Unhappiness with oneself is a signal that something is wrong with one's spiritual health just like fever or physical pain are warning signals that something is wrong with one's physical health. The solution is to unreservedly commit oneself to the very highest moral principles and ideals one knows, to resolve to go the right way no matter what the world may think or say (or how much it may laugh or ridicule). You say to yourself "The world may do as it pleases. I don't care what it does. Its way is its business. But as for me I am going to take the highest way I know. I am not even going to look at other people. My guiding star is the highest moral principles and ideals that I know, God and his divine law, and all that is Good and Right." In addition to this, you resolutely, determinedly set your face toward the quest for personal spirituality. You pursue spiritual truth, spiritual understanding and wisdom. You determine to set your heart on things above and follow them with your whole heart. You determine to get your priorities, values, and spiritual perspective straight. All this is what you do. All this constitutes the necessary attitudes and outlooks required to achieve the cure. It is the necessary way of thinking and feeling. What happens now when you earnestly and enthusiastically pursue this course? As time passes, months and years, all your problems start fading away. You feel new life and happiness welling up within you. All the old hostilities, angers, resentments, hatreds and other negative, pessimistic and unhappy feelings and attitudes start fading away. All to be replaced with genuine self-esteem, respect for yourself, self-confidence, peace with yourself, spiritual perspective and happiness. You become transformed into a totally different and new kind of person. One may ask "But will this remedy work for the person who is dissatisfied with his abilities or feels he is inept or a failure?" I believe it will. Why? First because the sense of self-esteem and confidence that comes with taking the "high road" of Principle and Right tends to overcome negative fears and feelings. And, second, because feelings of ineptness and failure really arise from wrong values, wrong priorities, and lack of proper spiritual perspective. They come from thinking the wrong things are important, measuring ourselves with the wrong yardstick. We all have our abilities and our inabilities, our strengths and our weaknesses. We are all intelligent in different ways. This is the way God made us and it is important that we accept ourselves, be satisfied and content with ourselves, as we are. However, as we become more spiritually minded, as we gain spiritual perspective, we come to appreciate that it is not physical and mental abilities and inabilities that is what is important in life. What is important is what we are spiritually. That is what God looks at. And as we become more and more spiritually minded we start looking at ourselves the same way God looks at us (and we start looking at other people the same way God looks at them). We start seeing things differently, seeing ourselves differently, and the things that used to seem so important no longer seem important. The mental and physical sides of ourselves, our mental abilities, our physical abilities, looks, etc. no longer seem so important and it is much easier to accept ourselves in these areas. We come to appreciate the value of such spiritual virtues as love, kindness, warmth, friendliness and charity; we realize how they have such infinitely more importance, value, worth and merit than any physical or mental ability. Nov 1977 More from SolitaryRoad.com:
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