Website owner:  James Miller

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Unhappy people often misdiagnose the cause of their problem

   It is very important to good mental health to be true to 
   yourself, to stand true to what you believe in.  Many people 
   who are different, who stand apart from the crowd, are unhappy 
   and think the cause is because they are different.  They view 
   themselves as being different (or abnormal), are very self-
   conscious about it, and mistakenly see their "being different" 
   as the root and cause of their problems.  It is not the cause.  
   The cause is the self-consciousness and worry about being 
   different.  It is important to be able to be comfortable in 
   being different --- to be able to be different and think 
   nothing about it and assume others think nothing of it either.  
   The problem comes in self-consciousness about it and worrying 
   about what other people are thinking about you.  It is vital to 
   good mental health to have your own personal convictions, 
   feelings, and sentiments and to be willing to stand up for 
   them, to be your own individual self.  It is important to 
   appreciate that if we are all true to ourselves we are all 
   different to some extent, that we have a right to be different, 
   and that there is a dignity in being different.  We are each 
   distinct, separate individuals with our own feelings and 
   viewpoints and not one of us is like any other.  Such a person 
   misdiagnoses his problem as being different and then attempts 
   to correct the problem by doing the exact opposite from what he 
   ought.  What he does is to try to follow the crowd, be one of 
   the gang, and hid his true self.  He attempts to suppress his 
   true convictions, feelings and sentiments, fearing that they 
   will not be accepted by the people around him.  Thus he does 
   not live up to the ideals and standards within him, goes 
   against his own self, and thus his problem just becomes 
   compounded.  What he needs to do is to have the courage to be 
   different and in the end he will gain the respect of others.  
   And he will gain a good feeling about his own self --- a 
   happiness in his strength and courage.    

   Mar 1980

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